This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow

This is one of those songs that stings with truth. The strength in the lyrics is so powerful and the depth of the promises so meaningful. It is a song that I want to sing with all my heart and truly mean every day, though I often fail so easily. 

I know I’m filled to be emptied again… such powerful words.

Work has been laced with sadness lately. I suppose this is expected working in oncology, but it certainly doesn’t make the sadness less real. Pretty much every day at work I see people crying. Whether its patients, or family members, friends, nurses… people are dealing with deep rooted sadness all the time. I am thankful that God has wired me with fairly steady emotions, otherwise I don’t think I would be able to take it every day. I do think that working where I work is helping me release emotions more readily, and I know this is not a bad thing. 

I love nursing. I love oncology nursing. It is such a humbling privilege to be there for patients and families in such huge seasons in their lives. And honestly, I often feel way out of my league, completely without words and lost knowing how in the world I can help. But even the little things, like sitting and holding a patients hand while she processes what the doctors just told her, or taking time to comfort family members, or even grabbing a warm blanket for a patient does make some difference. And I think I just need to remember that sometimes people don’t even want to hear words. Maybe they just want to know they aren’t alone in their trial, or maybe they want to be left alone to process it all.

I took a Thanatology course on grief and bereavement last year as my elective and the main thing I took away from that course is knowing that grief looks different for everyone, because we are all wired differently. That doesn’t sound all that profound I’m sure (perhaps not quite worth the price of the class), but it really does help with trying to recognize how people are grieving and how best I can help them. I am surely no expert, but I am thankful to be working with such excellent nurses who demonstrate respect and caring daily and who’s example watch and learn from. 

All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship