The Upward Call

It’s been more than a year… I’d say that’s a pretty significant dry spell as far as blogging goes. Seems to be in line with my running habits. Apparently I am also a fair-weather wanna be blogger.

Here I am.  A year later. Life is good. God is great. I am really thankful for the opportunities I’ve had in the last year to travel. Last year to Germany to visit and have many adventures with my dear sister Jessie. And this year to Dominican with nursing friends and now to Turkey/Greece/Venice with TL. I leave on this next adventure on Saturday and I’m really looking forward to seeing some really awesome sites, discovering if our online hotel/flight/ferry bookings actually worked, and just enjoying a break from the routine of work.

Work has been great. I still love learning and growing in my confidence as a nurse. And it is always encouraging to get positive feedback from patients and families. Such a rewarding job!

So here I go. I’m going to make my next blog goal to be to post again in less than a year. I think that is an attainable goal!

I think we’ve come to the stage in our blogging relationship where I feel compelled to share my deep respect and admiration for Elisabeth Elliot. She is, without a doubt, my hero.

I am so pleased that my parents spelled my middle name Elisabeth with an “s”. I enjoy having something (albeit very minor) in common with my hero. Elliot’s book Passion and Purity is one that no matter how many times I read, I always take away something new from her  wealth of wisdom and experiences. Her book is a worthwhile read and applicable to so many stages of life. And actually, it is on my book list as a re-read for 2009.

I admire Elisabeth’s sincere love for Christ and the Word. I admire her discipline and honesty. I admire her courageous faith in unimaginably difficult circumstances. I admire how she  utilized her gifts of teaching and writing to make known the greatness of God and glorify Him in all things. Like I said, she’s my hero.

Elisabeth has been called one of the most influential Christian women of our time. Intense! 

And as for Jim Elliot… he is seriously dreamy! 

I have been reminded these past few days from various conversations with single friends that singleness is a gift. And not a “hey thanks, but that’s a lousy gift” kind of gift… it is one to be genuinely  thankful for. Why is it so easy to forget that? I go through phases where I am pretty much nearly completely content with being single. And I go through phases where I think “if only…” or make disparaging  comments about my future as a nun. (haha) 

I really don’t want to wish away my single years. I want to make the most of them. I want to live life now, not make all sorts of plans for when I am a wife or mother. I want to read good books. Become a wise woman with a solid understanding of Christ. I want to travel. Use my money wisely. Develop hobbies. Invest in friendships. Do things that otherwise might be challenging down the road if my circumstances change. 

One of my all time favourite books is Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper. It is amazing. I love the way it describes women of so many different circumstances – single, married, working, etc. and how God used each of them in their unique place in life in such incredible ways for His glory. That is my desire. To know and be used by God for His glory. Whether I am a nurse for many years in Canada, whether I move overseas and work in an orphanage (scary!), whether I get to be a mom, etc. The future is so wide open, which is both exciting and alarming.  I am so thankful to be in His hands and to rest in the knowledge that all of the details are taken care of. I am thankful that God knows.

This time last year I had just woken up after working my first two night shifts ever. I woke up feeling happy and so excited about my placement, my preceptor and my possible future on the adult oncology floor. It was the first placement I had that I absolutely loved from the start. I remember sitting and talking in the living room with my parents before I went in for my first shift and saying “I’m not really sure I’ve thought this through…” haha. Thankfully God had all the details under control, as always, and here I am a year later. A lot has happened in the past year. I completed consolidation, I got a full time nursing position and passed my RN exam. It is interesting how easy it is to forget how stressful certain phases of life were once the stress is relieved when at the time it is so all-consuming, like studying for the RN exam or waiting for the results.  

In other news, I’ve booked my flight to Germany to visit my sister in April for two weeks! It is going to be really great. I’m looking forward to it, especially since it feels so much more real now that I’ve bought the tickets. 

I donated blood again today. It is a bonus because you aren’t allowed to exercise after (done and done!). I love it when health professionals tell me not to exercise.

It helps to be served a healthy dose of perspective every now and then. While driving into work tonight listening to (and loving!) Sara Groves’ Christmas album and thinking about my patients, I suddenly realized how very blessed I am. Yes I may have to work holidays and I may often have to miss out on fun events because of work – but hello! It’s not like I don’t like my job! I love it. And it is a blessing to be able to work, to be able to rest on days off, to be healthy. It gets so easy to fall into a habit of grumbling, but now that I think about it nothing really warrants complaining. I realized tonight I have been very ungrateful. I am so blessed. SO blessed. And I definitely do not thank God enough for His many blessings.   

This year I am working Christmas Eve day and Christmas day. And I actually think it will be a pretty cool experience.  I’m looking forward to it (which is not exactly how I felt  when I initially saw my schedule.)

I am thankful for perspective. It is good medicine.

To combat growing comfortable in the routine of life and work, I’ve thought of some things I’d like to be intentional about accomplishing in the near(ish) future. This is not an exhaustive list, just a few thoughts as of now. I’m sure more will be added in the future. 

Goals for the next 5 years:

• Go on some sort of a medical missions trip where I can incorporate nursing and evangelism
• Complete my Oncology Nursing Certification and/or take courses that will enhance my understanding and help me become a better Oncology Nurse
• Maintain close correspondence with (and hopefully visit) my sponsor child Dayana in Peru
• Continue as a youth leader at church/have a weekly ministry
• Continue to have a non-nursing hobby 
• Be a good steward of my finances

Sometimes at work while doing what I do, I am reminded of this video and it makes me laugh – because I can relate. haha.

What a weekend! 

The Poopsmith

“No for real, the Poopsmith’s a good guy, he’s just got a crappy job.” 

*please note, I love my job – crap and all.

I am a big fan of iTunes. I’ve lately started buying all my new music through the iTunes store and renting movies here and there too. Today I watched the movie Once, which is a nice Irish film (it is nice, minus the excessive use of the F bomb…. perhaps its a cultural thing). One person described the film as a musical without the cheese-factor. I love the music throughout the movie and how it ties the story together. Its a very non-hollywoodized, “real life” type film, in that there’s not a crazy plot or even immense character development, but if you are in a mellow mood and want to watch some chill music rather than just listen to it, this could be a good choice. 

Below is a video of my favourite song from the movie, just to give you a taste. 

On another note, on the weekend I went with a bunch of nurses from work to the opening night showing of the movie Twilight, which is a teen vampire romance drama. It was a lot of fun showing up 3 hours early to wait in line (and we weren’t even in the front of the line!) full of teenage girls (and us older girls) eagerly awaiting the movie. We laughed at ourselves for being nerds many times throughout the night, but it was good fun.  Having read the book I enjoyed the movie. However, if you haven’t read the book (and maybe even if you have), you may very well think it’s lame. And that’s okay. I do think Edward is dreamy though! 

Today I expanded my Christmas music collection. I highly recommend the Jars of Clay Christmas album, as well as Sarah McLachlan’s Christmas album. It is lovely. A song I keep playing over and over is Winter Song by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson. So beautiful. It is on the Hotel Cafe album. (Most of the songs are great, though some are slightly annoying).

I am so thankful for my lieu weeks. In my schedule, every 6 weeks I get a whole week off. It is so rejuvenating to just rest and have some “me time” and also to spend time with friends. This week has definitely been refreshing.

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow

This is one of those songs that stings with truth. The strength in the lyrics is so powerful and the depth of the promises so meaningful. It is a song that I want to sing with all my heart and truly mean every day, though I often fail so easily. 

I know I’m filled to be emptied again… such powerful words.

Work has been laced with sadness lately. I suppose this is expected working in oncology, but it certainly doesn’t make the sadness less real. Pretty much every day at work I see people crying. Whether its patients, or family members, friends, nurses… people are dealing with deep rooted sadness all the time. I am thankful that God has wired me with fairly steady emotions, otherwise I don’t think I would be able to take it every day. I do think that working where I work is helping me release emotions more readily, and I know this is not a bad thing. 

I love nursing. I love oncology nursing. It is such a humbling privilege to be there for patients and families in such huge seasons in their lives. And honestly, I often feel way out of my league, completely without words and lost knowing how in the world I can help. But even the little things, like sitting and holding a patients hand while she processes what the doctors just told her, or taking time to comfort family members, or even grabbing a warm blanket for a patient does make some difference. And I think I just need to remember that sometimes people don’t even want to hear words. Maybe they just want to know they aren’t alone in their trial, or maybe they want to be left alone to process it all.

I took a Thanatology course on grief and bereavement last year as my elective and the main thing I took away from that course is knowing that grief looks different for everyone, because we are all wired differently. That doesn’t sound all that profound I’m sure (perhaps not quite worth the price of the class), but it really does help with trying to recognize how people are grieving and how best I can help them. I am surely no expert, but I am thankful to be working with such excellent nurses who demonstrate respect and caring daily and who’s example watch and learn from. 

All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Today I donated blood. Apparently it was my third time donating so I got a sweet pen that says “I’m a 3-peat donor” and a pin as well. How fun.

Donating blood today was really quite a great experience. First of all, I got free parking because I explained that I was donating blood. The man smiled all friendly-like and said “you’re here for a good cause, go right on in.” Sweet. What a nice man! I was impressed. Free parking at Western is quite unusual.

The people at the clinic were so positive and friendly, thanking me for contributing. When the nurse does the screening, she asks questions that I used to think were so awkward (if you’ve ever donated before, you know what I’m talking about). Now its just kind of funny. Being the blood donor clinic screener would not be my ideal nursing job, let me tell you. haha.

As a nurse, drawing blood is one of my favourite skills, so it was actually cool to be on the receiving end of it (I’m strange, I know). I’m a big fan of the free cookies and juice at the end of the experience too. 

But when it comes right down to it, the part that made donating so great was knowing I was doing something that would make a difference. One person’s donation can save up to 3 lives. That’s incredible! And really, I think that’s why the clinic is always full of people wanting to give. It matters. In my job I see firsthand how important blood products are for my patients. I want to start donating blood on a regular basis. This is my pre-new year’s resolution. 

Feel free to check out the website. Apparently hospitals need 90,000 units of blood in the next 30 days. 

Canadian Blood Services